LONER..1

In every instance I sit to wonder, to reflect I only think of one thing, why me?????? What did I do wrong?
It’s as if I am repellant to the people I love to call my company .Personally I don’t see anything wrong but the writing is on the wall something is really amiss……it’s a diary full of question marks….am I really that unworthy. A lonely kid with nothing to call esteem, at least I wish the world would swallow people and they would come back reborn. May be am a wreck in the eyes of molarity, but this is my story

Maybe no one knows, but I feel I have a bigger goal towards life. I want to make a difference in life, if I died right now,. I would be a ghost. I would only live in the memories of those few who know me. Who are they? Of course, my family and a few loving friends who would eventually move on. When I sit down, I feel like am undergoing an identity crisis, not knowing who I am, I believe I am more than that one insignificant individual. TRUTH……..
Truth is that this is a generation that ,is depressed, our tiny hearts set ablaze by ourselves, yet 80% are not depressed its just the normal excuse to escape our lazy realities.


Truth is, we are defined by our decisions, and most of us just do things with on the basis of peer pressure..
Truth is we date, we smoke, we drink, we smash, but do we really have a genuine reason? Or do we just escape reality…?

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Truth is we all say “we do what we want, and we can’t change who we are”, but that is stupidity. No boss will understand that you came late because “you feel like,” and “it’s your life”…
Truth is that most of the things we do, we don’t really sit and think about them .We are all hypocrites in our own way, and as u lay on your bed doing nothing, someone else is working tirelessly somewhere. If you continue wallowing, 20 years from now there will be a difference between your kids and theirs. They will have money and you will wish you had money.
Truth is depression is a medical condition, unless a doctor examined you and confirmed it, you just have temporary stress from bad choices.


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So let me continue with my life story, It was all gradual. It didn’t just spark to life one day. It started as an Adolescent when my esteem was lowered each day by a passive comment. It did hurt, it cut dip into my flesh, when the mean words would come from my parents. My heart was naked, with no shield, so I cried sometimes the tears dried, but to the world, all was justified. Finally my body wouldn’t bear it all, I was in pain for a few weeks and kept it to myself.

When we finally visited the hospital my fears were confirmed, I had ulcers. I had resulted to overthinking every comment thrown to me, even those passed on a light note. So, I joined high school with my complicated self…..call it mental health issues. It was fun on the outside, but not any liberating on the inside, it was now like a growth. All the psyched events brushing it away occasionally, but it never seemed to go away, because I could trust no one fully.


So I finished form four and …the pressure was too much….I was a wreck…It could all be told from the practices I invested my time in… *********************

GUESS what I AM YOU…….that campus student trying to be true to yourself,,,,,




* So I struggled with ethicality, won but at times failed, one day I knew that reality would………..